


Setting: Self-Destruct

by torino10154



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Ficlet, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-04
Updated: 2011-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-12 01:02:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2089878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torino10154/pseuds/torino10154





	Setting: Self-Destruct

Draco walked into Severus's office, removing his cloak and gloves, when he heard the telltale sound of glass against glass.

"Isn't it a bit early to be drinking, Sev—" The words died in his throat when he looked at Severus. His face was drawn and pale, eyes bloodshot. "Bloody hell, what did you do?"

"What did _I_ do?" Severus laughed bitterly. 

"I didn't mean it like that." Draco moved closer but stood behind the chair he normally would have sat down in. Severus seemed _unpredictable_. "What happened?"

Severus looked up, his face a mask. "I left."

Draco gaped. "You don't mean—"

"Yes, I do." He turned away and tipped back the drink he'd poured when Draco walked in. "It was bound to happen."

"Only because you insist on sabotaging your own happiness," Draco said harshly. "He never would have—"

Severus whipped around. "Yes, it is always me, isn't it?" 

Draco wasn't about to say that more often than not that was true because Harry had his moments as well. "I'm sure if you talk to him, you'll have it sorted out by nightfall." 

"Know him that well, do you?" Severus's voice was soft, pained. Draco often wondered how a man so clever could be so incredibly foolish sometimes.

"He'll take you back."

Shook his head, hair falling into his face. "Not this time." 

"Are you trying to push him away? Does he not matter to you at all?"

Severus's eyes blazed but his voice was barely a whisper. "He means _everything_ to me."

"But you won't swallow your pride to try to get him back."

"I don't know." Severus rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands then ran his fingers through his hair as if he might tear it out. "I said things, Draco. Unforgivable things."

"Nothing is unforgivable." Draco thought about the faded mark on his own arm, reached out and put a hand on Severus's shoulder. He could tell he was trying to hold himself together. "Talk to him. Let him scream and yell and throw things at you."

"It's nothing I don't deserve—" 

"And don't beat yourself up either because that won't help at all." Draco remembered when Severus was the one giving advice and he was the one not listening, wallowing in his self-pity. It was strange being Severus's confidante now, years later, but he knew there was no one else Severus trusted. 

Well, besides Harry.

"—but sometimes he deserves _some_ of the blame. It isn't always me."

"But I know you," Draco said. "I'm pretty sure you're the one pokes and prods and he just lets it roll right off."

Severus shrugged which Draco took as agreement.

"And then when he says something to you, it hurts. That's not very fair, is it?"

"He knew how I was when he got involved with me. I'm still the same surly bastard I ever was." The self-hate and loathing Draco could feel pouring off Severus made him ache. 

"You're different when you're with him, Severus." Draco knew Severus likely wouldn't want to hear that but it was true. "You're happy."

Severus walked around behind his desk and poured himself another drink. He raised the glass as if to drink then set it down again, pushing it away. 

"I don't know how to do this." He sat down heavily and looked up at Draco. He'd never seen Severus look more lost.

Draco almost didn't want to leave him but knew Severus needed time to himself. He'd likely just end up brewing all night. 

"Talk to him, Severus. You'll see." He picked up his cloak and gloves without another word and headed for the door. 

"Draco." Severus's voice sounded strained. Draco turned back to face him. "Thank you."

He gave a curt nod in acknowledgment and left.


End file.
